Well, I didn't perish. My GPA, though...my poor GPA. I feel like stroking its head and telling it that I tried; hale and strong now, this French class (and Ottoman, with certainty) will surely infect it and drain it of its energy, like being bitten by a tsetse fly or contracting schistosomaiasis. My GPA has malaria, I tell you! I weep, I weep.
Today's exam has historical precedent. Behold:
The Black Death.
The Rape of Nanjing (Nanking).
Hurricane Andrew.
The dropping of atomic weaponry on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Ebola.
The 79 AD eruption of Mt. Vesuvius.
That TV show, Amish in the City.
Oh, there are more. You think I am overly dramatic; it's true. Nobody, including me, will perish if I fail out of French. Humor me, OK? Gad, you people: always down on me. I should become a monk.
Ottoman homework calls. Sounds like fun, huh?
Till tomorrow, I remain,
Demir (Dom)
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