The new job.
Unbeknownst to many of you, I've taken a new job. Hell, it's not a job, it's an actual, real, honest-to goodness goddamned career, and I, all of twenty-five, stand in awe, shock and mild disbelief. Judging from some people's reactions (I won't name names, but you know who you are), you all thought that I'd be selling my sweet body for smack money by the end of next year, and for that, you all will be seated at the right hand of the Hooved One in sulphurous eternal torment, basted by hellish imps on the Spit of Disbelief.
So now, instead of merely wounding international students with my Letter Opener of Divine Justice, I will instead be delivering the coup de grace myself as a full-time, salaried, document-signing Designated School Official, aka Foreign Student Advisor. Many of you have no idea what I am talking about, but suffice it to say that I get a cool stamp, the best parking permit available, business cards and a frikkin' office. And a salary. Did I mention that already? No longer will I have to traffic human organs to make ends meet; whatever will I do with all those Coleman coolers now? Also, the scalpels? And all that ice?
A real 'blog will follow soon, my pretties, I swear it.
I remain, as ever,
Dom
4 comments:
Salaries are fun!
ckc
A Parking Space too? WOW, you should pay them for that! Please send me a business card , I have a coffee table that need to be leveled and I have used all of mine!
hmmmmmm the Coleman cooler make fine furniture. All you need to do is place some of your fancy hand towels on them and presto...... an end table, a stool or even a top view only aquarium!
Congratulations Dom, you deserve the best... you are a great person and have been a good friend.
I hope you had a nice Independence Day. I had some funny/embarrassing comments from my Mom on the fourth... so in honor of your new job as Foreign Student Advisor, here you go...
"It was nice, except for the foreign people."
DETAILS OF THE 4th...........................................................................................
My Mom and I were sitting in the middle of this huge field. ...And out of all the places these people could have sat, they sat next to us.
My Mom's comments:
"They are sitting next to us because they are used to their crowded over-populated countries."
...Then as the fireworks proceeded.
"Look at all the American children, they are sitting quietly and here to watch the fireworks - these foreign people's children are running all around and obstructing our view."
...Talks just loud enough to drop subtle hints to parents.
"I guess these kids aren't here to see the fireworks."
"All I wanted was a nice relaxing evening while I watched the fireworks and celebrated our independence."
HaHaHaHaHahahahahaha!!! ...WOW!
Your bud,
Gai Chung
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