Today I went to the mall. The Bangor Mall. 98 stores and kiosks worth of "friendly" sales staff, certainly NOT picked-over wares, and many many many children who were bored to the point of death and looking for something to loot or vandalize.
Best of all: the Dollar Store. Inside was a dizzying array of crap ripe for the picking. In the back, in the rapidly depleting "Holliday"--yes, misspelled--section, I found three polyresin Wise Men. As mentioned before I have a freakish affinity for those magi. When I walked up to the checkout counter, I expected the perky saleswoman (and by "perky" I mean listless) to say "Three dollars and 15 cents", but instead, she said "One dollar and fifty-eight cents." They were half off, in case you, too, were a liberal arts major.
The freakishness:
My Ozarkland St. Anthony de Padua ALSO cost $1.58. To the penny.
The implications are thus:
1) Anytime I purchase polyresin Judeo-Christian statuary it will, inevitably, cost $1.58. This is regardless of how many statues (apparently) are purchased.
2) This is, surely, a sign that I must become a priest. I'll jockey to be sent for missionary work in some freakish, humid (Godless!) country, where I will use my razor-honed anthro-senses to learn about the people whose cultures we will systematically destroy.
Sigh.
Have a good night, Bangor.
Lumberjack Dom
2 comments:
ohhhhhhh noooooooooo..... three more wisemen in Bangor? Such a deal!
The Dollar store is amazing though especially when they have a sale. Who would ever imagine such useless crap at such a discounted price? Flea markets and yard sales all over the country can be audibly heard to "sigh" and grimace in pain when such occurances happen.
158 happens to be my IQ also, what a lucky number!
Dollar Stores, what rip offs... is that like false advertising? I always wonder why they are called that...
...That's like having "cent stores" where they price everything higher than a dollar... but price tag it 158cents instead of $1.58
Other than that Dom, you have a good memory for the costs of your purchases! :D ...I predict something strange will happen your next $1.58 purchase! Please be careful :D
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