One of the things I enjoy about election years (and yes, I have only been eligible to participate in two, thank-you-very-much) is the creativeness that springs forth slamming the candidates. While walking to Sycamore Hall to get buggered in Turkish class (Monday was exam day... sigh) while drinking my imperialist coffee--a grande pumpkin spice latte with whipped cream, if you must know--I saw no less than nine sidewalk-chalk etchings on the ground. Some had nothing to do with the election except obliquely--one was a chalk outline of a man with x's for eyes, and it said "Coke kills." Next to it someone scrawled "Bush drinks Coke." Under the man was a website that tells the world that Coke kills union leaders in Columbia. Whatever. The murder rate is 66 per 1,000 people in Columbia, which is 11 TIMES that of the U.S. I don't think Coke is helping anything, as imperialist and evil as it is. (As I write, my morning Coke sloshes about in my belly menacingly).
However, some were much more direct. One said "The road to Hell is paved with Republikkkans." Interesting. Yet another said "Bush fellates goats." Well, it didn't say "fellates", but I am too kind to put the real word. Ok, what the hell. It said "Bush blows goats." There. Ya happy? Yet another said that "Kerry has more positions than a Thai whore." The last said "Vote Green, you pathetic SUV owners." Hmm.
I've written some of them down for posterity. After all, when I find out who is writing them, I can easily blackmail them for all they are worth when they get that fancy internship with that huge conglomo-megacorporation or super-conservative lawfirm.
Off to my doom.
Allahaismarladik,
Dom (Demir)
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